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Entertainment / Humor

Fresh jokes every day on ugar.life

Daily updated jokes on ugar.life! Only fresh jokes!

Found 430 items

If you turn away from fortune, you might be interested in justice... ********** the psychopaths - the people themselves are good and the disease is mental. ********** the Horror! How many of us there are stealing skis, people with sticks are coming home sad every morning. ********** If Alexander Pushkin had a recorder when he was a little under Shafei, masterpieces we would read a lot more! ********** With the musket I look at our generation!... Ivan the terrible ********** Is the Almighty Russian hackers will be able again to make President Vladimir Putin? ********** But the truth is that in the family Pugacheva Galkin also plays Habensky? ********** - I am fifteen years studied professionally to kill, think about it. You about his service in the army...

Some of you are ready to go even at 2 a.m., and some you answer "too late" at 9 PM. Feel? ********** Bred a new kind of lap dog for the protection of apartments. The dog itself has not changed in size, but now at every suspicious noise barking bass much cold Caucasian shepherd. ********** Choosing the carrot or the stick, remember that stale carrot in the face, too, hurt. ********** If instead of dinner to go home to Breakfast, you can stay and no dinner. ********** Women note. Someone very smart figured out that a man listens to a woman an average of 15 seconds. Therefore, learn to speak fast. ********** Women, remember: how long does the woodpecker not to spend - the eagle still can't make him. ********** After a fight at the wedding, I realized...

- What's with the wacky Hairdryer uncomfortable? - Actually it's drill... ********** the Four stages of intoxication: 1. Came. 2. Crawled. 3. Brought. 4. Brought, but not there. ********** From the correspondence: - nick, take me for a husband. For you to take? ********** Women looking for a man who's not digging in your past, and sees you as their future. ********** the Government in the fight against poverty will distribute 500 million.... scumbags! ********** That there is less congestion and accidents, decided to install traffic lights, but we put them so that traffic jams and accidents becomes greater. ********** what kind Of unity in society can be discussed, if such a simple expression as the "floor to change", the Builder and the surgeon understand...

Role-playing game "Lecherous teacher and young student" in the family of Emmanuel Macron has long become a routine. ********** Usmanov develops Internet, Chubais develops nanotechnology develops the sport Mutko, Rogozin develops space, Putin is developing Russia... ********** - Rabinovich, why didn't you come on Saturday? - My wife said that I was sick. ********** it Turned out the love 40 is much worse than love at 16. It's like chicken pox in childhood are easier to overcome, but an adult can die. ********** - What were you doing between 2000 and 2015? - have Been a resident in London. - What resident?! - Tax. ********** - In Chernihiv, the monument to Bohdan Khmelnytsky, set in the heart of the city, deployed 180 degrees back towards Moscow. - And a...

- Alina, I posted a picture of you naked! I'll kill you! Delete it at once! - There are already 899 likes... - Then don't delete it! ********** Kiev. Correspondent talks to the owner of the company. - how did the prohibition of "Classmates" and "Vkontakte" on your company? - extremely positive. Free time our employees use for the development of new technologies and software products. - What? - Twitter and Facebook. ********** Wisdom comes with age... a Wise woman, making nonsense, knows what she's doing... ********** it's Time to tell Poroshenko, originates from the Dnieper river. How much Ukraine has to endure this provocation with a cotton?! ********** the Last time I was buying too much beer in the store. I hope to God I'm not a Shopaholic...

- And we have to work the system administrator has blocked "Classmates". - Agent Poroshenko, that's for sure. ********** Ukrainians are great, they know what they are doing! In blocking Odnoklassniki and Vkontakte have no policy. For the first month after blocking of social networks in Ukraine increased labor productivity at the enterprises of all patterns of ownership, in schools and in universities increased performance, and in the courts, the children again started to play football and badminton. The number of divorces began to decline, but most importantly, according to the calculations of the Ministry of youth Affairs and family in January-February 2018 expected population boom, as will be exactly 9 months from the beginning of the block. ********** In...

- Hello, police, there are n**Dec some going! - Yes, we've got to be honest, too. ********** English Level: know how to leave without saying goodbye. ********** In the gas supplied to Ukraine, is added a special additive, rastsvechivaya flame in the colors of St. George ribbon. ********** Ukrainian, drop it, cross the front line! In captivity you are waiting for a hot meal, a warm hut, access to VK, fresh memes. ********** Poroshenko to strengthen sanctions against Russia and banned in Ukraine, bears, balalaika, matryoshka and vodka. Then I thought, and vodka is not banned. ********** The biggest entertainer - British scientists and Russian deputies. Why not come up with, was the funding. ********** - Ivanov, whom you want to be when you grow up...

Ill-conceived motivation often leads to its simulation. ********** "New, just bought the car, leaving the dealership, immediately falls in price by 20%." - I thought, looking at the groom leaving the registry office. ********** In the case of Makron, as Galkin - grandmother talks. ********** Weather whispers, "Put some pants on, grab your shorts and bring a jacket". ********** When I drink, I become like Klitschko. Fighting and talking incoherently. ********** Children, the good news: when you become adults, you will be able to eat ice cream for lunch buckets. The bad news: you do only when you will be very sad. ********** I Have diabetes, flatulence, impotence and hemorrhoids, but I'm not upset, I'm only 18 years old. ********** the English Parliament...

It's Time to change something in my life, I thought lying on the couch and turned on the other side. ********** During the first telephone conversation the two leaders discussed, what is better: first the teacher or no wife. ********** From the news: "Chechen interior Ministry checked the information about the oppression of gays." Suppose that not one of them confessed that he was oppressed. But was questioned by the professionals. ********** Eurovision - an organization banned in Russia. ********** If you come to Usmanov and say "Alisher, give me five", you'll never guess - whether a hand shake, or five billion throw to the account. ********** Donald trump, and Vladimir Putin meet "accidentally" in a Swiss Bank. We hugged, sat down and say... - well...

More and more children are born out of the tube. It's still better than the bottle. ********** I Love snow in early may... ********** What you need to do first of all, when Ukraine will bezviz? - climb a tree! why? - trampled!!! ********** But Sokolowski more lightly the denial of the existence of Christ. Meet him Voland - it would have been much worse. ********** Vodka "PARAMONOVO"! Catch pokemon without smartphones! ********** Your woman should not cry. If yours cries a lot, then you have to ask yourself the question: who are you, in the end is a man or a fucking bow? ********** - the construction Battalion of the Navy? It's probably something very dangerous? - when forced to not dig the earth, and water. ********** Our people in musicnow on gyrometer do...

— Izzy, why don't you put on your car "Can you repeat that"? You're not a patriot? — Sam, I am a patriot. But I once hardly it turns out. ********** marine Le Pen congratulated Angela Merkel's victory in the elections of the President of France. ********** Pugachev delighted with the results of the elections of first lady in France. ********** - Why didn't Le Pen to win the presidential election in France? Several million migrants. ********** - what is the meaning of life? I do Not know. But I know that how I live makes no sense. ********** Know how masterfully the UPA fought in world war II? The Germans were unable to shoot down any of their aircraft and did not set fire to any tank! ********** it's dangerous to tell the Slaves that they are slaves...

The Doctor: We diagnosed you. Me: Say rather, I have little time. the Doctor: How do you know? ********** Yesterday, the fifth city cab company transported its millionth passenger. After handing the celebrant a commemorative gift was revealed that lucky this missed the plane. ********** there are so many possibilities. Don't even know what to fuck it up. ********** - is it true that you have in Russia bears walk around the city? - Oh my God! What kind of stupid stereotypes! Russia is a modern industrial state and the bears have long been moving through the city behind the wheel of a car or public transport. ********** the System administrator in the search in the office said that to crack passwords on a database will take several years of intensive work on...

13 years plus – this is the age of my cat. ********** In the Soviet Union was a queue. now, just not all the office. ********** - I still don't understand what Tarzan is different from Mowgli? Well, first, one was raised by apes, and the second wolves, one of the count's family in England, the second of the poor in India, but the main thing is Natasha Koroleva - Mowgli it is not! ********** Roman Abramovich forgot to pull out the wallet from my pocket and accidentally washed an annual budget of Nigeria. ********** memo to the Deputy of the Russian Federation. the Template for bills: with the Name of the Russian Federation, in security, in development of the legal community _________ (further too add, blah blah blah), to PROHIBIT_______________ (here add...

Dmitry Rogozin really despises about the defense: not just all your soul, and your whole family! ********** The oldest man in the world died in Indonesia in 146 years. IBA, Photo until his death was a heavy smoker. He was survived by four wives, 10 brothers and sisters and all their children. Smoking kills slowly but surely. ********** the world Bank has allocated Ukraine $150 million to support small and medium corruption. ********** Some believe that life is like a Zebra - white stripes alternate with black. Others believe that life is like chess - what kind of cage, white or black, you will be, depends on your progress. For the most life like checkers wherever you go, you can only go to the black cells. ********** In Russia decreased alcohol consumption....

In his youth, we will demolish the walls and build bridges, with age — burn the bridges and build walls... ********** the winner of the international competition for playing the balalaika faster all grates potatoes for hash Browns. ********** non-drinker, economic, loyal, caring, hard-working men — it's like a Siberian tiger! Seems to be there, and no one has seen... ********** Only the weird dynamite could come up with a prize that is not given to Tolstoy, 12 years refused to give to Einstein, but for the first 9 months of hope the birth of something epochal was given to Obama. ********** the Hedgehog was walking through the football field when he reached the other side, the other hedgehog said: "You are stupid, what if the game started, you would be...