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Entertainment / Humor

Fresh jokes every day Ugar.Su

Daily updated database of jokes on Ugar.Su! Only fresh anecdotes!

Found 494 items

- Well, shall we play a game? - Is. State: - Where a pension? : - Under this thimble. State: - And that's not guessed! ********** Indian team with songs and dances to free the hostages. ********** Swallow, strongly alluding to the rain, walked down the street on foot. ********** - Watched yesterday on TV the movie "Bet larger than life"? - is it about raising the retirement age?! ********** actually, I should have been born in Finland, but the stork who was carrying me, very tired and therefore left me in the Republic of Karelia - in Petrozavodsk. ********** Now it is fashionable to think about how Putin in 2005 promised to prevent raising the retirement age, while he was the President... Well, just like the children, because during that presidential term...

Share of the Pension Fund of Russia: While retirement is a coffin as a gift! ********** Peskov: Vladimir Vladimirovich, it is possible to raise your rating up to 99.9% for a day! Putin: - I Wonder how? Sands: - to Cancel the increase in the retirement age. ********** How to identify a fraudster? He is the most confidence. ********** Russia responded to US sanctions and raise the retirement age to 65 years for men and 63 years for women, and the last blow was the introduction of 20% VAT. ********** raising the retirement age - that half-measures! Give the complete abolition of pensions! ********** - put my Headset today. - tomorrow I parachute jump. . ********** online: -Girls, remember - if the street in the next month with you persistently try to meet...

It is not necessary to say that the government can only improve! It age ranges to lower can!!! ********** Beauty is the wealth of women. And wealth is the beauty of men. ********** Through football, the pension reform was marked by a General rejoicing. ********** - This victory over Saudi Arabia for the people of Russia very expensive - stated officials, increasing the VAT and the retirement age. Now the fans have openly afraid of the victory over Uruguay. ********** - so, how's your English? Learn gradually? - Hello, my deer friend! - And Hello to you, my friend, the deer! ********** My brother's lifelong dream to become an astronaut, and I wanted to become a doctor and cure him. ********** In Yuzhnoye Butovo to walk in the evening one dangerous three...

Young couple in the Bank takes the credit: - what credit take? - gasoline. On the weekend I want to give up on kebabs. ********** Young girls who constantly take selfies sitting on the windowsill, for some reason remind me of potted seedlings, which then will certainly grow vegetables. ********** Kozak has promised not to increase gasoline prices to 100 rubles. Up to a maximum of 99.99. ********** If your son is coming home, laughs out loud and is always eating sweets, do not rush to sound the alarm. Maybe it was just a fun sweet tooth. ********** — Masha is learning? — Masha knows everything already... ********** Plow-plow 11 months, as the horse, but then a month rest, like a pig... ********** Who is waiting for more hard disappointment? Russian fans of...

Just for the exam at the agrarian University the phrase "What the fuck?" could be part of the issue. ********** Output June 12 was originally called "independence Day"... Boris Yeltsin from Gorbachev. ********** I Imagine in North Korea today presented to the meeting in Singapore: Kim called on the carpet trump. ********** One day, Ernst said to myself: "I Must create a program that its audience did not realize what was going on in the world. To make them thinking about politics is primitive and stupid. If I can? I do not know. Time will tell." ********** the Leaders of the United States and North Korea met for the first time. - Hau do you do? asked trump smiled for the cameras. Excuse me, comrade How Blow Do we executed last year - smiled in response, Kim...

De Niro at the award ceremony publicly sent trump nah@nd. What? Bondarchuk also could publicly send nah@th trump. Russian actors not ssyklivee those inflated Hollywood stars will! ********** Missed Egypt. Decided to at least watch football, tickets to "Zenit-Arena" to ask the price. Stayed for 90 000 (Ninety thousand) rubles. Are they to Peter and the pyramid brought? ********** - Girl, and how old are you? - How much you give, I do not mind! the main thing is how much the judge will give... ********** Maybe if we paid less than some of these modern rappers, and paying more teachers, in the future there would be more smart people and less shitty music. (actor Samuel L. Jackson) ********** a Very lazy moth is called procrastinate. ********** In Russia is 1...

No in Russia such obstacles which no one swore. ********** - Suliko, you know, between us and the ballet lies the abyss? - giv, is not an abyss that is the orchestra pit. ********** When you sit down to learn a foreign language, it often slips thought: "What the fuck, the first builders on Earth started to build this tower of Babel?". ********** Each of us goes his own sexually. ********** — Your son wrote in the book that he wants to spend the summer in jail! — What's wrong with that son wants to spend the summer with his father? ********** Russian bribe-takers! Catch the moment! Turns out, the offering type bath, sauna, Hamam no longer punishable. the Precedent has occurred. ********** the Grandson asks his grandma: - the Grandmother, well read tale - We...

Old Age is when the refrigerator is getting less food and more drugs. ********** According to the latest research VTsIOM, the rating of trust to the government increased by 3% and approached the level of confidence in our football team. ********** - could You tell me where is located the city Museum? - I don't know, ask someone else, I'm local. ********** the optimist woman should be half full. ********** - Well, Yasha, how's your wife? Oh, Sara would be the perfect wife, if she has not demanded of me that I was the perfect husband. ********** - Tell me why you dress as a beggar? Do you have that?! No money for good jeans? We pay you a respectable salary! - But it is a normal jeans, day ago purchased... - why not ripped? Holes-where? ********** Pilots...

- Mr President, why you took Yevtushenkov Bashneft? - There have been irregularities in the privatization process. - So they were everywhere. - Great idea! ********** still, Russia ukrainofobsky country. Cost the star of "Playboy" from the Ukraine to try a little to earn additionally in Russia prostitution - from arrest and deportation. But in Ukraine, the Russians Babchenko, Muzhdabaev, the host can prostitution is legal. ********** Women harmful long vrednichat. ********** On an expensive powder sitting king, Prince, king, Prince. The shoemaker, the tailor can't afford this. ********** Split personality - it is, of course, sad. However, if you want to transfer the couch, the two of us to do it much easier! ********** the Best capital policy: fairness...

Campaign Straight line turned into a Distorting mirror. ********** For execution of the order to increase the life expectancy of the Russians issued a decree - cuckoo cuckoo no less than fifty times. ********** - Why among aristocrats decided not to do the tattoo? - have you seen any airbrushing on a rolls Royce? ********** Effective Manager is by itself a weapon of terrible destructive power. And in combination with knowledge within the exam – all the mega weapons. The only problem is the delivery of these warheads in the strategic economy of the enemy. ********** says the husband of a friend of Pauline: Life to live - not a field planting. ********** Outlining its programme when the Minister of sport, Mutko said that the national team of Russia on...

- Oh, son, we raised you as a decent man, why you grew up to be such a dick... - the Apple fall far from the tree. - the Apple from the tree now able get. ********** I understand the reason for the lack of mutual understanding between the players of our team. The fact that the gray-haired players always want a beer and a NAP, and tattooed boys - viscaria and Discoteka. ********** - Dear, and we let a cot for your mother will move from the kitchen to our room. And then somehow uncomfortable. Well, of course, uncomfortable! Three nights you can not eat! ********** the Investigator, having read books by Agatha Christie, is afraid that the killer himself, because he well VA-and-ashche not think. ********** Want to ask the President a question? Wait for...

Want a fairy tale! Don't need a gold fish or a cat scientist. Want Chukovskiy - each small Midge may be a small flashlight. And then I'll catch this bastard!!! ********** — Who is the most beautiful girl in the class? — Ya — Be my girl. — But I don't want. — Good! Who wants to be my girl? — I want! Is the most beautiful girl in the class. ********** it May seem that I'm just a goof. But trust me I am a sucker extraordinary! ********** to not Change anything I recommend, the delicate balance of errors compensating each other makes the program work. ********** Recipe lazy Golubtsov: 1. Go to sleep... ********** — And I'm an Amateur. — in my opinion, on very rare gourmet. ********** - What do you do when you get together? - I don't know, I already drunk...

Anatoly Borisovich Chubais suggested to allocate pension funds in the nanotechnology industry. Although the present pension of the Russians]. ********** There are such ridiculous people who think that the singer needs to be able to sing. Or in order to obtain a degree, the official must touch the science. You know, so you can agree to the fact that the Minister of agriculture needs to understand agriculture and Vice Prime Minister for construction through the construction. ********** - Yesterday broke her favorite record of his wife. - vinyl? - Where there is, still sulking. ********** If you were brought into the woods and told to dig a deep hole, you know: turn up worms and take you fishing. ********** the Coaching staff headed by Stanislav Cherchesov has...

The Resurrection will repeat in two weeks for Catholics. ********** In the season "Summer 2018" and sandals you have to buy 2 sizes larger to wool socks to climb. ********** According to foreign agencies, Putin had surgery for increased powers. ********** - Why are you holding Cabinet aquarium with goldfish? - So nice to have someone who opens his mouth and does not ask about the salary increase. ********** Russian liberals carefully saved in computers their obituaries in Babchenko, victorkane wasted. For the future. Or name in the text to change, and again in the struggle against the regime. Not disappear as good... ********** Poklonskaya Daughter turns to the mother: - mother, Mother, the Internet is again about you and write nasty things! They say you're...

You Have problems? Mortgage? Communal? Money to paycheck not enough? Relax. Now, if you have been arrested a couple of lard a $ or not given UK visa - that would be a problem, and it is so nonsense. ********** lied to us that Ukraine is bad medicine. They get from the world... ********** - still animal is much higher people in their mental development. If, for example, twenty horses run the race five thousand people are willing to pay money to see them. Take twenty people, let them race, and I assure you that no horse will not even pay attention to them. ********** the editor of the newspaper received a letter: "Sir! Last Tuesday I lost a gold watch, which is our family heirloom. I was advised to advertise in your newspaper, which I did. The next day...