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Entertainment / Humor

Fresh jokes every day Ugar.Su

Daily updated database of jokes on Ugar.Su! Only fresh anecdotes!

Found 485 items

— You're a night owl or an early bird? — I'm a stork! Want to have a baby? ********** Website anekdot.ru ready to provide Zolotov and Bulk area for the duel. ********** - unlike you, I am a man cultured and educated. You novice know? - Maybe met somewhere, and so, in the face do not remember. ********** My socks are promiscuous... ********** Why kids Bulk don't go to his rallies? They are for Putin? ********** to charge the water, it was necessary to bring her to TV, and now she's been charged she pours out. ********** national sign - more often when referring to the head of state used the word "dear", the less money found in the pockets of the population. ********** there Are days that I want to put on repeat. ********** Drinking beer is a hidden desire...

- Here, I read the indignant responses to the speech of Tony Robbins at the stadium. Heard of it? - of Course I did. A great specialist in otemu money from the public. Certainly Medvedev will soon offer Robbins the position of Advisor to the government on pension reform. ********** On my body clearly, I'm a fan of bread, not circuses! ********** I do Not want to say that you are ugly, but if the Arabs offered ten camels for you, it would be a unit of camels. ********** Murphy's Law: as soon as you sit down to prepare for the session, you have a new year mood. ********** Visit performances by Tony Robbins - a Russian "idioten test". the Ticket is an official certificate of mental deficiency. ********** When on the TV show with some scale Moscow celebrates...

- Woman! I asked for things to watch! - I had my eye on. Even eyes held. ********** Scotland Yard said that the bottle where the poison was not from the spirits "Nina Ricci", and "red Moscow". ********** Usmanov arrived in Sochi on the yacht under the flag of Cayman Islands. natspredatelem have announced that people who are against the increase of PV. ********** long live the universal Bojurishte capital. ********** If to replenish the pension Fund of corrupt money, you can retire to leave immediately after graduation. ********** In connection with the regular sucking up to Putin is Alexander Zaldostanov announced the renaming of the bike-club "Night wolves" in "Night bitch." ********** In a pub in Brighton beach. - Tell me, Haimovich, here you have many...

Don't need to listen to the answers to questions not asked, and to answer questions that were not asked of you. Better answer the questions himself. ********** Adapting to global warming - bald... ********** it's Bad luck to believe in bad luck. ********** In music schools it is proposed to establish for prospective officials classes on playing the saw. ********** the Russian space Agency began to search for the pest, made a hole in the spacecraft. Cormorants alert. ********** Before they were called: "slave", "bourgeois", "exploiters", "bloodsuckers". now reverently - "Employers"! ********** I've spent my whole life did everything correctly, and it was necessary as they want. ********** - why security officials did not raise the retirement age? - what...

Good to be a freelancer! The day was wasted? Forget it, it was a holiday. ********** If each give dinner to your enemy, then nobody will be left without dinner. ********** the liberal democratic Party built a garden, now the children go potty with the slogan "enough is enough!" ********** - They are so incompetent that it is not able neither to sing nor to dance, nor to recite or even to understand speech. They are stupid enough to expose their incompetence in public disgrace and ridicule. Who are these people?? - the Players on the "Field of dreams"??? ********** How did our nation suffers from some minor material things like pensions! There is a lack of spirituality! So, obviously, we need to build more Temples. And since spirituality is what really...

Putin softened. He did it with vaseline. ********** Ur women got time off of forced labor from 8 to 5! The men on PAROLE were not included. ********** In the 90 years you bad fucked - and here is the result! ********** Mind Russia not to understand, I tried, I was treated... ********** the Last two weeks RUSNANO tested a new ultra-modern development "Dimka-nevidimka". ********** after Hearing the President's message on pensions has been completely agree with the President on one point: the rejection of raising the retirement age would be unfair and irresponsible in relation to "their" children. ********** Hollywood donor's day was held. All collected blood will go to the new film by Quentin Tarantino. ********** Putin in his address he listed all the...

The Most common type of Ghost in a white shroud - a Ghost of people who died trying to change the duvet cover. So they are rushing to the bedroom in a perpetual search of parts... ********** Why when giving out free food to the homeless is a sad place, order and quiet, and when "normal" people at some festival - crush, abuse runs riot... Maybe the homeless are not that hungry.... ********** Scandal in the family vegans. - what You got for me?! - Is a very healthy salad with sprouted quinoa... - I bust my hump all day to eat some fucking salad? I'm a man, I need soy burgers! ********** "Phone, phone, Chukchi wants to eat" - after all, how visionary anecdote! A quarter century later backward is considered as one who does NOT know how to use a telephone...

In my childhood my parents made us eat and sleep, and we didn't want to. Now we want to do. And they say, parents do not know how to hypnotize. ********** Two pieces of news on the Internet. 1) had disappeared by the Prime Minister Medvedev. 2) the NYT reported that Russia's "silent" informants of the United States, transmitting information about the plans of the Russian government. I can not understand, if they might be connected ********** So, back Dima! Sagarminaga the bruises from dad Vova - and return! On the Playground boring. ********** After the two tons of cocaine with the logo "United Russia" has intercepted in Belgium, it became clear: who, how, when and what caused Dmitry Anatolyevich Medvedev "sports injury", after which he "cannot carry out...

Thanks to your girlfriend, I forgot what cooking. She's better than everyone orders a meal. ********** Put the man on a cross makes it into the toe. ********** Strange in Russia the situation with humor - like the government is full of clowns, but whatever you say - all people are not funny... ********** It's only us with a birth injury head to control government why it is possible, but with sports there. ********** Press-service of the Kremlin reported that the Prime Minister has suspended its work due to sports injuries. As reported by independent sources, just at Dmitry Medvedev on the eve of his fingers stuck in a bowling ball, big boy and his head knocked the strike. the Pins were not injured. ********** heroism is to criticize America while in the...

Austria is a modest little country in Central Europe. money on the wedding General was not. was confined to the Colonel of FSB in resignation. ********** the Announcement on a boat in St. Petersburg: "Dear guests! Bridges In St. Petersburg 500, and the head you have one. Watch your head under the bridges!" ********** the Boy becomes a man when he first lost the second sock. ********** - And let us, so we get the chorus, and you have the sanctions removed? this is not going. - Well, want me then you will dance? Let's see... ********** the idea of the drink as it should before death seems reasonable. And since you cannot know in advance when death will come, ready always. ********** the New Russian roulette: posts memasuki and go round the world. When you...

We live in an age of symbolism. The announcement of the pension reform in the midst of the football championship, shortly after the opening of the Crimean bridge and on the background of our success in Syria shows clearly what went grandmother's Pension Fund. ********** There is a line, crossing which you will never be young. once to go to a meeting of residents of the house and all... ********** the Minister of foreign Affairs of Ukraine Klimkin said that if he got married, Putin would have him for the wedding has not arrived. ********** How to answer uncomfortable questions: - Well, to begin with, this finish. ********** — let's talk, finally, as man to man. — I'm not interested to discuss, man to man. ********** If on Monday morning you need to get into...

From the news: In between two weddings, where he was invited to Vladimir Putin, he made time to see Angela Merkel. ********** Spiders became Pets much earlier than cats, but people for some reason still afraid. ********** With age less feel like a stranger on the celebration of life, because I see that there is no holiday. ********** it is Clear why Putin took Cossack choir, so they sang Merkel "Cossacks, Cossacks! Ride, ride through Berlin our Cossacks!!" ********** the Deputy of the state Duma Natalia Poklonskaya is married. Say, the first dance of the young was "God save the Tsar". ********** the Idea for a startup: garbage bags with soundproofing for thumps, but ashamed of the bottles clinking of the intelligentsia. ********** trump: "Volodya, why did...

I raced the summer. On the background of the fucked up life is not that much of a loss... ********** – Oh, grandma, why do you have such big ears? So I can hear you better! – Oh, grandma, what is it you have such a large apartment and 10 firms? – make it easier raising the retirement age to survive. ********** Became a vegan. Lost 250 lbs - all three friends. ********** Nikolay Baskov very disappointed when I learned that a wedding in Austria didn't call it... ********** Probably would have winter, you can sit at home. And then sit home all summer and the bitch somehow restless... ********** - I'm not saying I'm Batman, but please note that no one has ever seen me with Batman at the same time... ********** Muscovites! Our mayor has gone mad! He for some...

Did You know that most of the matches are made from aspen? this means that if you get very little vampire or werewolf, you can sharpen a match and use it as a wooden stake! ********** to a wedding in Austria arrives Vladimir Putin. the return of the wedding specified... ********** If a person calls himself a scientist says about something "I can't explain it", kick him in the neck. It's not a real scientist, but an imposter. ********** - got a picture of your twins? That's it. - But there's only one! - Enough. Another just exactly the same. ********** I Bought the Nordic walking sticks, now I will not be given the staggering drunken gait. ********** one day I went ahead and fully deleted from your life alcohol. will Never forget this bespontovye Friday...

- Yes, as this state does nothing for the people?! And who gay propaganda banned? And who is dead wood you collect allowed? Poklonsky there, so hard, married the other day that you lived quietly, and you are dissatisfied... ********** news From: the Number of victims DOUBLED to 25 people... the Fuck are they arithmetic? Or found the other half of the victim? ********** - Ivan, you recommend Pavel Petrovich on this tall, very responsible post. You can vouch for him, for his professional qualities? - I will Say this. I'm a random person would not trust to scrub my back in the bath, and anyhow to share with anyone what do not too. - this is Probably the best recommendation. Congratulations, Paul p., you are hereby appointed chief of a Central Board. **********...