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Entertainment / Humor

Bash.im

Book Runet

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>> I haven't met people in your life who dreams about the profession of stevedore. Happy for you. And I came across these in quantity. When you live without money in General, that will bring relatives//friends, unreliable, irregular, the Idea of being among the privileged, who in a neat (issued from the warehouse!!!) clothes consistently night gets cash, Starts to look excess attractive. working village near the regional center, one enterprise that may not at all desire to have, Money to travel to the region center consistently there, and so forth. that's life guys... Brought me back in the days of wild youth, lived there for three years. Went on the ride.

Go home, already dark outside (winter). See, I meet is a cute girl, listening to music through headphones, and for a lucky tubing, on which nobody sits. I Decided to show off the humor and say it: – Girl, you lost her baby. is She stops, takes out the earpiece from ear and asks what I said. I repeat his joke. She takes a look at the tubing and roared as Beluga: – Aaaaaa!!! My baby!!! My God-my God, I lost my baby!!! Here my face looked like this (O_O) AND then she abruptly calms down and says: okay, I'm kidding. You should have seen his face now, having said that, put back the earphone and went on.

How to critic a movie critic - have you seen the film "Man Swiss army knife"?? - I asked one kritikessa on a Christmas booze. - I only lasted for 25 minutes now trying to find out what was over there, maybe someone inspected. - No, you didn't say. - What's it about? - Well, the person floats on the river in a boat and farts. And all? The whole movie floats and fart? I'm Telling you, I don't know I have 25 minutes left! Came home, surfed the Internet and found a lot of rave reviews of recognized masters. Looking at whether. Probably farted for a reason...

Marisol [In reply to Eugenio] today I also learned that time really took off with the office party on Friday. A little later, started a mass brawl. Girls, like, was not injured, but the men got everything. One came with a bandaged finger, it turned out that bite. But you are all decent people... Eugenio Ahahahahah Marisol As it turned out, the instigator of the fight has recently employed a second time. A few years ago he was fired for fighting at corporate And the beginning I found - he started dancing, staggering and waving his arms, almost took someone and one guy held it back, lest he glared. He began bychit. I went to the moment when gene deer talked to him and he quietly nodded, saying, I repent, something not so understood, I got excited. But then...

Opened the world anti-stress videos on tytrube, I realized that I'm not the only one fucked up. perhaps we have so much that we can even be considered almost normal. does anyone know where such a buzz from a piece of soap which is cut with a knife into small cubes, all there buckets of paint, which pieces collected from the conveyor, and other perversions of all sorts of tools and crafts? I such noticed after pregnancy: can spend hours looking like tinkering with cement or clay, live orgasm at the sight of gray-white powder which with water in the way. previously, it was calm. and now the whole house in cement DIY, because the wild thrill of it kneading. or at least to pour all sorts of flour, coffee, sugar, jars here and there. doctor, is it curable?

I Bought a dog once upon a time toy rubber pig. Came by to visit a friend (a former classmate of her husband) saw, said she like Petrovich, who was a supervisor in the third year. Husband agreed. In General, all the dog toys we crowd since (for five years) called Petrovichi. Stories about interesting reaction accidentally heard on phrases like "need to buy new Richard p." car. But recently I did see a picture of the Petrovich, and so, the pig don'T look LIKE him!

I have a friend American (D), working in Russia, in the 90s he was sooo violent youth: he left the house, played in the band, lived in the car, drugs, arrests, etc. , horror movies. The monster dragged the baby to the wardrobe. Me: And you have been childhood monster in the closet? a: No. Me: How so?! Every American kid should be a monster in the closet! How can you grow up in the American heartland without the monster in the closet? D: F*ck! And how did I not think of that? I: of Course, this is all your problem! You poor deprived child! D: Well... Under the bed but was...

Summer. Heat. Mother (M), I and younger sister (S) 5 years back with the beach a short way - ie climb straight down the hillside, the loose stone path. Down-that it is easy and fun,... M: Everything! Can no longer shove this bag! I get the bag, pulling. Really unrealistic heavy. All the way joke that it boulder. we Reach the "base", dismantle the bag, and there... a true gem! Sickly. Wrapped in a towel. Me: Sister! What for you put here the stone?! (innocently clapping eyes): the Wind was! I thing stone crushed... I: And wrapped him why?! : Well, if tomorrow the wind will be too! This is OUR stone!

Only in one of the shops of household chemicals and cosmetics stand in the queue. Ahead of me the customer. Puts in front of the cashier, two tubes P - shopper cashier P: what is the tube better? : O_o don't know. P: how can you not know? You have to know your product! Which tube is better, this or this? : I don't know. How do I know? P: ponaberut ads! You need to know! Required! And the duty to advise! To: female, single tube you have - toothpaste, second - cream! How can I know which is better? N: Oh! I'm confused.

Taxi. Label "Video" in the cabin creates peace and comfort in the whole trip. Yes, I write everything that happens in the salon, but I'm required by law to notify the client. Night drunk rides were quieter half. And then one day... ...Sits a girl, sees what is written: Oh, and you have that here on a video shoot? – Yes. – who will watch? – No, if everything is in order. – well, No, because still can not, lowers the visor, could you not? Opens the mirror, adjusts hair, makeup. Visor, smiling: – Now shoot :))

On 4pda site, talk about the news of new TVs. aaa: why hang the TV on the wall, if you can throw a laptop on the belly? bbb: Not all the same belly. Many flat sporty belly with the press. ccc: That's their problem, and solved. ddd: will Help to grow a belly, cheap. Full online support. Will be a power mode control technique of lying on the couch, I will give tips and recommendations. Also provide seminars and webinars on the topic of "Belly dreams". All the speakers receive a gift of beer and garlic croutons.

Fedorez when I was in TSURE, we had one very peculiar teacher. you know, one of those who "what you brought me to the lab(the term paper) it's just an excuse to start a conversation". passed from 8 in the morning until 11 at night. passed five times. came to retake in the morning and left in the evening because I just couldn't go for a retake (per day, he attended only three of the crowd (he lost two)). but nevertheless, there was a true hack. we had to arrange the piano in the bushes — put explicit local absurdity and a few violations of the rules of registration in a prominent place. he will notice, roll you into a pancake... you will sit with a broken, go back to the dorms, get pre-printed sheets with the correct option, put in a report/course and in a...

Milfgard: this year the autumn has introduced barcode scanners, they really speed up the process. Previously, some employees are old-fashioned introduced the product code manually (I don't know why, but apparently, force of habit). Instead of a hard ban our specialists 1S thought to raise the delay for processing of the goods the progressive for a few hundredths of a second with each manually entered item. I suspect that the developers 1C — cynical trolls, but not so. The calculation was correct, in December, all use the scanners. Told them about your method of training after the fact.

Lanny, "the worst nightmare phone dealer" chat-bot composed of 16 pre-recorded phrases played in a certain order, interactive voice script to handle telemarketing calls. The program tracks all of the pauses longer than 1.5 s, and then pronounces the following sentence in order. His lyrical hero is "a lonely old man, who is not averse to chat, proud of his family and not able to focus on the goals of the call seller." The first four phrases should encourage the merchant to begin advertising it, and the last 12 phrases played in a circle, while the dealer will not throw up. if[knew: okay, a nightmare my boss is. Both two and the division, and subdivisions, Though the captcha they roll out at every planning meeting. Confuses me only what I could lose if you...

Yousoufian Even if the radiation caused changes in the DNA, in any case, changes of the genotype do not affect the phenotype of the current generation, kakby... vconst I also think that it is clear to everyone. But a few times encountered people who quite sincerely believed that if a very long time to saw off the horns of cows will be bred breed of hornless cows... PavelGatilov Wait, why not? Because the sawing of the horns does not change DNA? But if you changed it, then why not? dron41k the world would not be virgins. tmin10 you Need to saw off the horns, and to kill those cows, which they eat so they did not give progeny. For example in Africa extinct elephants without tusks, because their relatives with tusks are killed by poachers and survived only...