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Entertainment / Humor

A dozen new stories. Anecdotes from Russia.

Jokes from Russia - the most funny jokes, stories, sayings and phrases, poems, cartoons, and other humor. Go from 8 November 1995. Compiler Dima Verner

Found 583 items

I Rested on the sea. In Feodosia. More precisely, under Theodosius. There is a place Golden beach. And there is a campsite where I stopped. The campsite was at one time the dining room is good and inexpensive. Then dining room was closed. And had to drive to eat to Feodosia. But in the heat in a cramped minibus, it is always a pleasure ... And sometimes broke and I was preparing myself at the local kitchen, which was on site. And once I was once again rushed and I decided to stay. At the same time and terribly wanted potatoes with mashed kelechi. The benefit that both. But then I was pierced in order to cook mashed potatoes need water and salt, and neither one nor the other I was not. Water I took in Feodosia in the dining room. Salt took the same from the...

My teeth are saved the journal "Science and life" of the 70s. In one article I read the research results of some wild Polynesian tribe for several decades. Start of studies healthy teeth 100%, the consumption of industrial sugar - 0. The end of the research - the normal consumption of sugar, tooth decay 99%. The surviving percentage of the natives obviously have enough pumpkins sugar is not. While sweet fruits they are clearly Hawali - there's a lot. And I already had nightmare experiences with the dentist drill. Me teeth almost all managed to fill. They seemed in a hurry to catch until I dropped. We fit all garden and drilled, drilled... We waited a long time for their turn, terribly bored by the cries of tortured comrades. I decided I would like to just...

About memory...and not only... When I was little, I lived with my grandmother in the village and we went to the toilet on the street. At the entrance to the house, in a small anteroom which was called Tindi, was galoshes. Large! Dimensionless! At all! And everyone who came out, wore these overshoes, sometimes on bare feet, and the path up the hill to the wooden toilet. Sometimes these galoshes stuck to the mud so badly that the leg was going to go out and slapped them right in the dirt. And I remember back in tears, with galoshes in hand, and feet in the dirt, and waited at the door while I poured water into the basin and I will wash your feet and enter the house. And water was carried from a well! My kids galoshes did not go! And mud didn't lose! And this...

Used in urban buses syllogism - entry only through the front door. Behind which crouched the driver selling tickets. Then came the monitors, who, as you know, check those passengers who the driver sold tickets, but the money is blatantly put it in his pocket. Now I am looking forward to the start of work inspection, who will inspect the inspectors who may be in cahoots with the driver, and divide the money, which the driver dropped into his bottomless pocket and not to the state, which pays salary to the supervisors.

Tricks of the HACKER In 1988, the 22-year-old American Kevin Poulsen became famous when he decided to win a brand new Porsche, which is played by the radio station KIIS-FM. To win the competition had to be 102nd caller to the Studio. But Poulsen did not rely on luck, but just hacked into the phone network radio and called when it was necessary, cutting off access to all other subscribers. Later on NBC left the program, talks of it as of a fleeing hacker. Viewers were asked to call the hotline if they where ever seen this man. But to call the canal there was no way hotline NBC was hacked and disabled. However, the hacker still managed to hold his caught the vigilant citizens, when he went to one of the supermarkets for groceries.

Our organization just as you say, without taking. Usually, on the recommendations. Besides, when filling out the questionnaire, there is another question: What can confirm the data? To national security have no relationship. Financial institution, the owner of which, in its submissions, seeks to set the right, professional people. When filling out the questionnaire, prepare the girl is Armenian, who had the necessary education and experience in this specialty in the appropriate box on the confirmation of their data, wrote: I swear to my mother. When asked why, replied that the national confirmation form of information to be given. Not sure the owner has a real sense of humor, but the girl took it, and it works successfully.

The Son of a cousin went to the first class. When, after the first lesson the bell rang for break, he jumped up and ran to the door. the Teacher stopped him: — David, the call is not created for you and for me. You don't have to get up until I tell you. after Explaining, the teacher released him and the other students at recess. after five minutes the bell rang for second period. All included in class except for David. He slowly walked down the corridor and examined the portraits on the wall. — what are you walk, David, a call not heard? — shouted the teacher from the threshold class. — rose M., you said yourself that the call is not created for me and for you.

Back when I worked in the police in the second half of the 90s, we were in the duty room fell beaten into the blood crying student: "the bandits IK... IK... smileeeee!". Hanging out here the riot police returning from a patrol, visibly brightened smelled interesting power detention. However, the farther away we heard the weeping of studiozusy, the more I just wanted to give him a slap and send him on his way. It turns out that our young dunce vigorously stamped on the lessons along the road outside the city, in the hands of dragging the tube with the drawings. They swept past the car. At one point the College boy was bored and he decided to pull a prank on drivers, imitating the action hero. The Joker got down on one knee, put the tube with the drawings on...

Bedouin justice (told with the words of the participant of events) Bedouins in Israel live in families and clans, usually in the desert or on the border of the desert. Friend the Bedouin told how justice is done in their environment. his family has a small herd: sheep, goats and camels. And here run a relative looking after the flock, and yells that two young men stole the sheep. Gave chase in a jeep, caught, hit in the side and piled the car into a ditch. All living things, sheep's okay. The robbers were beaten, tied up and put inside the corral. and then called their parents: "Looking for your son? He's caught for stealing sheep. Come." Parents came, accompanied by elders of his clan, who proposed to resolve the case in the religious court (although the...

My brother and I are the same age and we drove in different gardens. One was near my mom's work, the other with dad. And it so happened that the Christmas party we had the same. The family Council parents decided to split up. My mother made me a red riding hood costume and my brother the costume of a Musketeer. On day X we are happy, profits for the holiday. Of course, mixed up the packages... still laugh when I look at a photograph of a brother in a skirt with an apron and a red cap. But I was luckier girl Musketeer looked unusual.

Called and said that you were interested in my resume, was invited for an interview as a teacher at a daycare center. This is a very strange interview - it was somehow the opposite. It began with the fact that upon arriving at the meeting place and going into the office, my future boss just looked at me and waited.. Then decided to talk to me: - please Tell us about your centre and the office. After you heard of the story and clarifying questions, I realized the dream and asked: - May I ask the reason for leaving the previous employee? In General, the questions asked I basically. The feeling was that I them to take. In the end, tomorrow is the first day of work.

Was our friend Kostya Polivanov from Peter. Lived in the 3rd area, and worked in the 4th. But a ticket for a week took the 3rd zone to 6th, inclusive. (For those who do not know London transport is divided into 6 zones, the center - 1 the first zone, and further from the center in the direction of the field rings diverge from the 2nd to 6th zone). And then there happened here such a dialogue Kostik with another mutual friend of ours Victor: - Kostya, why are you buying travelco from the 3rd to 6th area? - what if I go there... - Then you can buy and the 1st 2 zones? - Why? - what if you go there...

The Olympics were Carried out at the ambulance, one of the stations it was necessary to help the patient smoked fished galyuny. As a hint of the reasons for galunov stood Smoking a hookah pipe (itself an imitation, of vaping vapor), and for the entourage of little things - snacks, maybe some cigarettes. All the teams from Russia and China without any problems with the course calculated the addict, but the Azerbaijanis are unable - treated as received food poisoning from lying next to cheese =) Then half an hour telling them about hemp and how its use, they made the round eyes and refused to believe. So XS, or national peculiarity, or a full team including dandelions appeared.

Fairy TALE ABOUT snow white or how to make life wonderful. there was the snow maiden. And she lived in the southern city, and for the New year, the snow fell. And she waited. But at the end of the... Meteorologists, whether they are not right, said that the cyclone is coming and will be cold. And so, one morning in January, I do not remember what year, like 2020))) the snow has gone. He walked and walked and fell, because the holidays were long and the meal is long. And then the maiden remembered that she didn't have time to decorate the Christmas tree because there was no snow, and it was just scrap. She stood up with a soft white bed, stretched, rubbed his face mittens, and lo and behold, she didn't have to use Avon, it is so beautiful. She quickly threw...

As I understand it, almost everything we watched "radio Day" with the brilliant "the Quartet"? Long laughed at the names of fictitious animals: family gidroksilnyh baboons, 2 sansovini cows, bearded American muskrat, the Brazilian two-pronged chemophobic, podmoscovye polliwog, a rare kind of weasel — ferret-alarmist (better known as ferret-skunk), dwarf avacon Bangladesh, middle Eastern wood headed gull, pinnipeds goat, a giant saber-toothed grasshopper, etc. and Yes! the North American rabbit-the bore! Which is able to climb trees! it would Seem, to laugh and forget. But today, looking for some information and accidentally bump into the following: "Japanese wood rabbit also known as Amami, Ryukyu rabbit or rat hare (lat. Your furnessi), is an endemic...