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Entertainment / Humor

A dozen new stories. Anecdotes from Russia.

Jokes from Russia - the most funny jokes, stories, sayings and phrases, poems, cartoons, and other humor. Go from 8 November 1995. Compiler Dima Verner

Found 697 items

Husband taught her to paint, swing hips to read the classics and behave in society. Their love angered the whole of Italy, but they allowed themselves to be happy. Ponti told Sofia that she is very nice and would be a movie star; that's just to lose weight, of course, necessary, especially in the thighs and the nose shortened. Sofia was disgusted to hear: to him she liked, and that was enough. Said no, nothing in itself to alter it will not. After these words, Ponti her infinitely admired: he was used to that girls are ready for anything just to become famous. And to give up the idea to make Sofia a star could not. He felt a jeweler, to get rare, but a diamond in the rough. Ponti was busy with Sophia for months: taught how to speak without an accent of...

Hot pursuit on Wednesday, July 29, in Belarus, announced the arrest of 33 Russians from PMC Wagner. the Agency BelTA reports: "Visitors have noticed uncharacteristic for Russian tourists behavior and monotonous clothing in military style. Did not use alcohol, places of entertainment did not attend, he held himself aloof, trying not to attract attention". In General, the drinking and the women did not go, and failed.)) PS And, of course, that's funny that "trying not to draw attention to myself" – was all dressed up in military style.))) 33.))

HISTORY https://www.anekdot.ru/id/1130599/ about a boy whose father believes that a man in the kitchen needs only to come to eat inspired. Came once to me to Norway to visit a classmate to visit for the Christmas holidays. I wrote him a visitor's visa, he came. Wife had just landed her first job in high school - and the school was in a remote village. She was a lodger, and came home for the weekend. This is an important point. a Friend came, we had traveled around, went skiing, saw the local sights, etc. But since the Russian new year holidays later than the European Christmas, a return ticket took it quite late. He came the wife were on vacation, and then she went to work. I, the student, then the schedule was free and I could longer get. the Long history...

KILLING SNIPER I'm a man of moods, you can obsess all you want, believe and help any good person. Of course, after believing that he is good. But my wife, on the contrary. The information only from one source, for it is an empty phrase. My wife – man system, even from a wolf in the woods, it will run according to a carefully designed strategy. Work at it so, to see in the small is large and Vice versa. was Driving my wife in a taxi, I in the passenger, and the wife with a laptop in the back seat. We with the taxi driver from mentally talking, and the wife was silently working keyboard, received and sent business emails. the Driver was a very interesting man, a retired Colonel. And not just a Colonel, and a Colonel of the GRU. He has visited all the hot...

I live in Richmond, the former capital of the Confederate States. When a wave of protests under the slogan "BLM" is "black life is important" - we do not sour got. Turned all the protesters - all the monuments of the generals who participated in that war on both sides, shop Windows, beat up, befoul all that I could, word. but not the essence. I Have today the wife decided to the beach to get out. There is also neglect, mostly due to kovida, but, like people not to drive. And as soon as she lay down under the umbrella as she went past a procession of black protesters. They had ten people in her words, and the procession was headed by a girl weighing pounds under a hundred and fifty, in a Canary yellow leotard, from which it tries to fall. The girl was...

When the girl showed me this footage, as it was thought, aerobatics on a two-wheeled horse, I chuckled. -aerobatics is the same figure, but backwards, matter - of-factly I said. -no way! - tried to argue it. -it Happens. More as it happens! - for clarification, I in your pocket is not useful. Though it was long ago, but it appeared the motorcycle "Voskhod-2M", with electronic ignition, which had one feature... but come on, let's start everything in order. Near high school, on the concreted platform, the category And driving, passed a group of young guys. Some have not broke out and sixteen, but have had a great desire. The policeman with the magazine stood at the site, the rest came one by one and discharged at Sunrise, the "eight". And nothing more is...

As what you sent for training on HR management for middle managers. Sitting, different situations discussed. The coach throws the subject: and met in your practice employees who are always late? One guy says, Yes, there was a girl in my Department, led several sections, efficiently performed the duties, but has trouble with coming to work. Company has a strict regime control, and it is for 5 minutes, then 10, late, every day... Coach direct perked up: Yes, Yes, Yes, I'm talking about, very good example! And how did you solved this problem? the Guy: I married her and became her time to carry on the work.

Said a friend of the head of the kindergarten. Came to one of the groups in class, consider diminutive. Teacher: - the Boys, as you affectionately call home? Well, gone. Masha: "My name is Masha," Peter, "I Peter or my son" and stuff like that. And here is one girl stretches: - my house is called Lera. You know what my dad affectionately calls mom? The miracle of my brakes! Nurses close psoriatica in the back room, caregiver and head of pedagogically trying to "save face". In General, the parents, as the saying goes: do not believe what your child says at home about the kindergarten, and we're not going to believe what he says, coming out of the house.

Work met a woman, young, cute. At first it seemed a little quiet, but once the process has begun. After the decision of office questions, sat in a cafe, I walked home. Asked for coffee and was invited. The apartment was a Studio, but when I turned on the light, saw a large cage in which sat a huge rat. She immediately went to her and gently began to talk to her, then got out and took his hands. It turned out to be rats-male. They kissed, he crawled over her. I have pretty big experience in different climatic zones and meetings with representatives of the animal world. But it was too much. It was unbearable to imagine that I would touch her and she with me. Something muttering I ran out of there. After received the SMS-ku "insensitive Fool". As a fool I will...

Wife with younger went to her mother's for the weekend. I'm home with the senior. He plays with friends on the street, right under our Windows, and then run up a crowd, the toys, something to drink, something to change. I strive - lunch parallel my floors and cleaned. One boy from their company, watching this picture says to me: - But my daddy said that the man into the kitchen only to come to eat should be, and a rag even forbidden to touch. While I was thinking, as he gently explain that his daddy is not quite right, one girl quickly retorted: - Oh, everyone knows that your dad is a strange... And with noise and laughter the children ran into the street, and the boy went thoughtful. Thank you, good girl.

Just two koteyki transferred across a dog with a disability https://vk.com/video-34740837_456264247 from the comments to the video: , Our youngest cat got from the neighbors. She had lived in the yard, in the trees with the squirrels, almost feral, considered himself a bit of a squirrel - kitten-by-wire went, to the horror of the spectators... Then the neighbors moved and it took. And she came back. To proteins and native wood. And began asking eat. Well we have it made. The senior poured some out of a can with cat food and Bank nearby, and forgotten. The cat ate landfilling, wants more - and the Bank cannot open. Went into the bushes, led striped boy - raccoon. The raccoon opened the jar and they are two of the throat next to this booty we sat and ate...

Charles number in his book "In Russian Wonderland: An American's Odyssey in Soviet Russia" gives an anecdotal case (of course the authenticity is up to the conscience of the author) He describes the meeting in Moscow Africans and their response to the question, how many students from their countries studying in Moscow: "Oh, Yes," replied one, "we ship them all over here, in the Soviet Union." He explained why: "we used to send quite a lot of our students at Princeton, Columbia University and Berkeley, but they all returned Marxists. Now we send them here, and after three or four years in the Soviet Union, they all returned staunch anti-Communists". (C) USSResearch

The Phrase "Decadent West" in the mid-nineteenth century came up with the Slavophile Stepan Shevyrev. He served in the foreign Ministry, regularly wrote articles about the autocracy and nationality, in the colors of describing the image of Europe as a dead and rotting corpse - as opposed, of course, fine and healthy tsarist Russia. The main event in the life shevyreva happened in 1857 at a meeting of the Board of the Moscow art society. A cousin of the king, the grandson of Catherine II, count Bobrinsky criticized the orders of the time of Nicholas I. He called slaves of peasants and landlords - depraved individuals. Shevyrev came to the defense of Russia, and brought Bobrinsky angry speech. Word for word, a fight ensued. Bobrinsky Slavophile broke two ribs...

Once, long ago, when the trees were large, the secretaries loved to kiss and in communism, nobody believed this story happened. And maybe not happened. Maybe it's fiction. Although at least 5 people told her how "I was not there, but a friend brother, saw with my own eyes" in Short, in Gorky Park Ordzhonikidze, was the attraction "the Surprise" Hell of a thing. What a roller coaster? What is bungee jumping? "Surprise". He spun with such speed that it's horrible. And then started the movement in the plane and become perpendicular to the ground. so one night, when the Park was already closed and the town fell asleep, woke up the local boys. And severely stoned. And I guess someone came up with the idea: - And let the" Surprise" ride! And so he pins. And in...

After the war, many brought home trophies from Germany. Some very senior people, then even suffered from their greed. My uncle, who served in SMERSH, brought some of that stuff, and there wasn't a large box in which lay thickly needles. My grandmother a few years on occasion sold their neighboring women who just trembled at the sight of them. It really helped the family in the early postwar years. I was born after the war and found his uncle very old. He was one of the most sober and sensible people, among all the people I ever knew.