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Entertainment / Humor

A dozen new stories. Anecdotes from Russia.

Jokes from Russia - the most funny jokes, stories, sayings and phrases, poems, cartoons, and other humor. Go from 8 November 1995. Compiler Dima Verner

Found 697 items

In the Dorm where I had to live more than anyone instilled in me the confidence Sasha. Because of life principles. If the room is there is something tasty and alcoholic, he always shared honestly. If we were four, then six, if three, then five, etc. -Sanya, and two extra piece (or Cup) to whom? - at first, we were interested in. -Yes you Cho, damn it!!! It's a Bear with Sergei. It is necessary for brothers - resented it - to be honest. And we fell silent. But each day as I tried to remember who these Bear earrings. I know this was not possible, but to break off bro, did not allow conscience. Until that moment, until I saw how Sasha eats two left lobes. -Alex, what about Bear earrings?! - I was taken aback. -So they didn't come! - wiping his mouth, he...

How I studied in the Soviet school Before the school was kindergarten. There we were called names, learn to read, write and count. But those times I vaguely remember. In the first class we repeated already covered in the preparatory group of the kindergarten. Again we were taught to write and read, although called by name and not had a NAP. I knew everything and received a first sprocket on notebooks, and then five in the diary. In the middle of may, playing in the schoolyard in football, broke the kick not the ball, which rolled into a pothole at manhole, and on the hatch. Walking with a plaster on his leg was not interested and I started reading. Read everything what falls short on the bookshelves at home and at the cottage. the Second class differed...

There was ... and even one grandmother lives. Earned it is for life something a little less than a million. The apartment is approximately a million and will be. No children, but relatives as multimillionaire. Lived modestly, and nobody is particularly interested. But suddenly decided to make a will. Despite the mystery, and maybe, inadvertently, the information was leaked. Relatives with pleasure has helped it will draw and quickly made incapable to is not copied. The grounds are: age, Alzheimer's, but to be honest, it is not in the phase of disability. So, light a harmless quirks. the Sly insolent, began to dispose of her money without waiting for death: a car for her getting it, I go on vacation, and even made repairs in the apartment and new furnished...

On the current topic on July 24 at Gorky Park high school graduates are more than 40 artists and groups. the program includes all-Moscow graduation salute, which will start at midnight, and the eight-hour Grand concert with the participation of more than forty artists. Details of the program revealed in the Complex of social development of Moscow. according to Interfax, the Park will be divided into zones with different themes. Area "Fantasy #Dream" begins with a red carpet over the entrance arch of the Park, where students will be waiting photographers, "theatrical performances, thematic photo zone and the magical forest". In the area of "Communication #Communicate" will feature popular comedians, in the area of "Art #Create" created the art-labyrinth, and...

Oleg, my second cousin, the guy is not malice that, but a strong and bobs so far. He is very calm. And then we are with him on a business trip went to Vladivostok. I don't remember why, but he was driving, probably his car. for the First time in a big city, and almost for the first time behind the wheel. I'm with you. The whole night was on the road. Stand at a busy intersection. Before us the truck which can not see the traffic lights. Near us stops polished sedan, probably a Toyota crown is very cool at the time was a 90 mother. at the wheel of the sedan sits people well-fed Face and a beard, which in those days was even cooler than his car and the window he opened. And we consider that from the village - stand. Apparently ignited a traffic light and...

This story happened in September 2007. Tanya (33 years) and Volume (38 years) moved to the small town of maple valley, Washington. They wanted in this town to stay forever, you can finally fulfil your dream of a home. They wanted to buy a plot of land on which to build your dream home. By 2007, Riders were married for 8 years, but all the while they toured the country in search of a place where they will live and raise future children. Tanya and Tom were left to themselves, alone in the world. With family, none of them spoke. Both had difficult childhood and difficult teenage years. At the time, Tanya was struggling with severe depression, and That had dependence on illicit drugs. That, in his words, found in Tana inspiration, she was his incentive to...

Here about the freebie was ... he began to remember - my whole life, Freeloader! Worked in France, Marseille. Network of perfume boutiques Marionnaud bought competitive network Odilya. And at the time of conversion was I in a former shop Odilya where shefini just spent reshaping, filling the shelves of goods. will Not help to bring two bags to the garbage? It is the remains of the goods which we have in the new range will not. Two full blue plastic bag, 120 liters each. Full of French perfume. - will Certainly help!

In continuation of the stories from yesterday of the top. According to International conventions, any vessel or object, found in the open sea, living on Board is a draw and belongs to the person who found it. there was a funny incident: one boat caught fire. Guests and the team hastily left the burning ship, forgetting the cat. After a while the fire went out by itself. Whether burned, what burned, or ran playful wave and extinguished the fire, does not matter. a Passing ship fished this boat and demanded money from the owner on the principle of "no redemption without remuneration." But lawyers from the mountain of the sailor proved that the cat was: a) alive b) a crew member of the C) not asked for help

Mouse it Was in the years of carefree student days when you'll laugh and finger. I lived in the Dorm (by Soviet standards a dream!) block type, when there is a toilet and bathroom for 2 rooms. I was incredibly lucky and my girlfriend lived in a two – room for two. And on the top floor had a different layout, what are we - the freshmen had no idea to a memorable night. it was night when even the exuberant students, to which my friend does. of course, not treated, slept a righteous sleep. I usually sleep deeply and with difficulty gain the ability to function. Sleep and somehow dream me terribly unpleasant mice. They are running around, sorting out little feet, such a vile, nasty, loathsome. At this point, a small, warm and absolutely alien for the middle of...

Once stood our ship in one of the ports of the Baltic States. Shipping is already ended, when the guests on the boat went to my classmates in the merchant Navy, living in this city. First we had a little over a meeting in the captain's cabin, then went to dinner in a country restaurant - the former manor of a Baltic Baron. The menu was intricate medieval dishes, with recipes from the Baron's cook, and fancy brandy – it has already been the recipe of Mr. Baron. Judging by the cordials, the German Baron was kind of nutty, you could even say passionate. After dinner, our entire company went first to one bar, then to another where "for a dear guest from Leningrad" local musicians performed some classic works from the repertoire of my fellow countryman and...

Is a part of our vast country to the far East, and the Amur region, whose territory is over 1200 kilometers (a little less than from Moscow to Syktyvkar) borders the oldest and most populous country in the world – China. The state border is the Amur river. Do not think that the name has something to do with the God of love, no, it's more prosaic – the indigenous inhabitants of these regions – the Evenks, at the time, called the river Mene – Amar (big river). Well, the TRANS-Baikal Cossacks, civilizovani wild land, did not think of its name, as heard and recorded. And the story will be about this largest river. for several years, on the ice of the river, separating mother Russia and China every year in February, city neighbors Blagoveshchensk and Heihe (I...

Immigrants from Azerbaijan gave to the Armenians in Moscow, "the apricot war." Thus, the Azerbaijani patriots reacted to the deterioration of relations between Baku and Yerevan. Some Azerbaijanis bought y on the Moscow market of Armenians three boxes of apricots, and then pointedly began to trample fruit with their feet. They are bought in the market Armenians Armenian (!) the apricots and immediately trampled underfoot. The Armenians on this matter with interest looked and offered a discount on a wholesale consignment of apricots to trampling, but the Azerbaijanis had run out of money.

In Chelyabinsk, the friends left a 6-year-old son in the car and briefly went to the store. When I returned, I saw the following picture: the son of some of the candy ("Snickers", "bounty" and still something), he sits their eating. The question of where taken, the son said that was changed to autorader. he was left on the front seat, he was sitting with the window open, he was approached by a man who offered sweets, the son took them, and in return the uncle asked the thing that was lying on the dashboard. Autoradar for 5,000 rubles was changed to 3 chocolates.

- There is a hell of a lot of critical inconsistencies, allowing to think that the moon landing is bunk. Obajimi. And here are these crazy procesamento. On TV really showed a lot of the pavilion shooting. And some of them someone had called documentary footage. Nothing to worry about. Ours, for example, spent many years silent, that Gagarin landed by parachute, as the then organization of recorded flight, only if the person flew in the same machine, which took off. This something should be? He was flying? Now, there are relatively recent pictures of the landing site Chinese, Indian... browse already calm. - If, of course, to not run the robot, razlivki items and made tracks.

Don't ask me where it happened, what I want to tell you. And, in fact, what's the difference? In one highly developed and highly cultured country - there was a training center for immigrants the official language of this clay area. Well, the center - loudly, in the state - just three people. Director, Secretary - she's an accountant, and, in fact, a teacher. If only the office was completely private - the teacher would quietly handled administrative duties, and accounting and secretarial functions would be transferred to outsourcing. But the center still received funds from the state budget and money, I must say, a lot, as much as three hundred thousand dollarov per year. For a freebie is always a lot of wishing. in addition to the above staffing was...