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Entertainment / Humor

A dozen new stories. Anecdotes from Russia.

Jokes from Russia - the most funny jokes, stories, sayings and phrases, poems, cartoons, and other humor. Go from 8 November 1995. Compiler Dima Verner

Found 697 items

There Are strange convergence... "Chetverin Misha slept!" — shared one wife fun family news. My cousin Misha (call it so) was the driver. No, better Driver. A more correct — the DRIVER!! All his life he spun the wheel, the driver with pre-war experience, passed all war on the front line the roads, including on the legendary Road of Life across the ice of lake Ladoga. At that time, when I heard the news of his failure, uncle Misha was still working, although deserved retirement many times. A lot of interesting, possibly he could tell! I could, but... Sober Misha was very taciturn, that is, the word does not pull. And after drinking... Drunk, he turned into an inveterate babbler! The narrator's passionate, tireless, but, unfortunately, completely unknown. He...

Here was a case in Turkey. Well sit by the pool. And the pool once on the second floor, and under it some kind of boutique. Well, the Turks hung through our territory an iron shield with ads. No dick comes out, and only two of them. Around the pool are all Germans and only I blood)) was studied. Got up and like yell, "come on, guys, come Podmore!" Went, took hold of the rope... look and the rest of the Germans tightened. In General, under the team "Once or twice, let it cost". Hoisted. The Turks with a drill attached. And then one names, laughing, fucking the Soviet past is remembered. Well, what are you people, the Russians, just that, just the load, become commanders and other propagate. So I'm saying, but I still wonder what the Germans so to my appeal...

Brigade gouging What was your largest oploshnosti? This, that and twenty years to remember about it and wonder how fortunate it happened that got off lightly? it was a long time ago, in Durnovo and cataractous America. That land of the free\home of the brave. In other words, the home of the brave gouging. Dot-coma just hit, so my future profession a network engineer, but still without certificates were in high demand on the labour market pizza delivery and other fast food employees. On the one hand, this allowed us to think less about food, the other - financial prosperity contributed little. Sitting on the porch with Michael, with the box of lemonade bad light, we were looking for options to get a thousand or two. I was approaching the annual celebration...

Daughter was about 3 years old. She recently started going to kindergarten. Every time taking her out of the group, I ask: - What did you do today in kindergarten? - Drew. the figure Shows. Praise her. Then there was the modeling figurines from clay, some crafts... once again ask her about what I was doing,and she told me otvechaet:. - singing Songs! I: - And as he sang? And prepared to listen, as a daughter I will sing... And she honestly says to me: - Much singing! I opened and closed my mouth... imagine a group of three years old, and all the "much sung".....

We had on the boat doctor – loved free. Sometimes, all day standing on the wing of the bridge and the binoculars in the sea is considering: what floats unattended? Sometimes he was lucky. Once off the coast of Sweden, our ship was caught, discovered, the waterlogged boat with two outboard motors mercury 250 horses each. And once we were out drift a hundred miles from the entrance to the Kiel canal, where the dock joyfully shouted: "Found!". Really, about cameltoe on the bow port side sailed just grey barrel. Three minutes a doctor was traded to the boatswain, dividing potential treasure trove of medieval Vikings or possibly the secret gold of the Third Reich. Agreeing to share the "counting your chickens" equally, and not as brothers, partners went to the...

A Friend once managed to admire the mural, stained glass Windows and sculptures in the Church College Oxford. It is only open to students, faculty and their guests. It draws attention to itself embedded in the wall of the memorial panels listing the dead in the First World students and graduates of the College. So, here, in addition to the British in the martyrology listed a lot of names here enrolled students of the Germans. Their names remained on the panel, in spite of the fierce criticism. Just then the head of the College felt that belonging to the Alma mater is more important than which side of the front they fought. That is, the leadership of the oldest College was a real opportunity to defend its position. These things. But how come that after a...

Inspired by the top stories yesterday and the day before yesterday: the Story from the lips of a friend from Baku, a business person, who was not involved than just to earn money, which he always managed. he Lived as temporary in the dashing 90's in Minsk and was engaged in business. There was a Syrian who went to med school, who wanted to throw money at bad people. Friend this helped the Syrians to this, and returned all his money. Moved to our days, Germany, Bakuvian this because of his wife of Jewish lives in Germany and has its avtokhauz. Finds the Internet a suitable car 400 miles from home, calls up with the owner and goes there with his son, to haul. Because of traffic jams come only in the evening, and in the yard winter and cold. The good car...

About the return of lost and found. on the bus to work. service Shuttle buses. came from the factory to the subway, the passengers got off. I left. drove up to the house. I pass through the cabin. on the back seat lies somewhere mobile. do not Ah, but also good. trichimonas, unlocked. and it is thirty-four missed calls from some nasty. well, I think I got a man. Nastya now he will show a divorce and maiden name. after all, according to women's logic, if a man is not answering his phone so he was not killed and he lost the phone - that means he's with another woman. I think we need this Nastya to call, say so and so, do not worry aunt, uncle on the other. call. with another seven in the second - insufficient funds. the third SIM card - the same song. just...

About American Missions to the moon, not only knows lazy. But not everyone is aware that after the successful flight to the moon, all three astronauts, David Scott, James Irwin, and Alfred Wardina, life was suspended from flying. Mission Apollo 15, was one of the most advanced and liberated, for the first time took part of the lunar Rover. But the scandal astronauts, broke not for space reasons. the fact that David Scott without the permission of NASA, taken on Board the ship, three hundred and ninety-eight stamps, who after returning to Earth he intended to implement. This means that an astronaut rules greed. He intended to sell them for return to Earth for a lot of money that he was offered by Germany. But as you know, the rich in this he failed. it...

The History of the past. the Border of the Yaroslavl and Kostroma regions, the river Kostromka. Part of the river was guarded by Kostroma fish. on (guard), part of Yaroslavl. Yaroslavl at that time was headed by well-known fishing control of Cockroaches, he was known as the fishermen and all local, he was the terror of poachers, and submitted: I Cockroaches. In the nineties, we came to relax on the river with a campfire and soup. Only located, drives a motorboat come out of her supervision with the words: I Cockroaches, your family. We honestly admitted: Bulls, goats, Boars. He didn't believe us, offended, got in the boat and left. We are just five minutes later realized the comic situation, probably because the jokes are born. Kostroma fisheries at the...

Do Not know now, but at the end of last century, students of the naval school of merchant Navy had a dual status: on the one hand they are students of civil universities, and cadets of the training mouth, under the command of officers of the Navy with all the charms of the barracks: builds, daily outfits and circulation systems. The lack of status of the military personnel did not allow the cadets have free use of public transport and deprived them of caring commanders the opportunity to send a particularly "favorite" of a cadet in the garrison guardhouse. the Perestroika times contributed to this duality more confusion because of the intensifying class struggle. Indeed, I should think a company commander, educated in the ideals of Marxism-Leninism and...

Yesterday's top story reminded. "Throw good in the water." the Epigraph: "a Guest in the house joy in the house" my Grandfather during the War he served as platoon commander in 1st Sibr. Full title: 1st Assault engineer-Sapper Smolensk red banner Orders of Suvorov and Kutuzov Brigade Komsomol (anyone interested in reading about these teams, here is the link http://erazvitie.org/article/shturmovye_inzhnery). From the title implies that the title that she deserved for the liberation of Smolensk. There, in the distant 1943, it was fierce fighting, and the losses among the ground attack was huge, because throwing them into the Inferno, but he was lucky. Years later, those few veterans of the brigade that survived even was going to Smolensk to meetings...

Will Tell you guys the story.. don't know, maybe someone will be useful.. Sat I love being stupid in a smartphone. came across eyes article, can't remember where, and it doesn't matter. About the fact that whether we have, or over the hill due to the fact that a business bent from the crown, people began to switch from one profession to a different. Roughly speaking, the strippers now come to former visitors to wash the floors gygy :))) and my wife at this time just sawed that the coronavirus, books read, TV series looked, in General, the brains eaten away. Well, not gygy gygy, and then the topic came across another article, also guys have to survive. Have Staropoli topic. The usual cafe with a summer terrace, all the cases wanted to combine with the hotel....

My first story: "tea for 500 euros" a Joke is an epigraph: "Once the Kazakhs decided to hijack the plane, but missed the flight". was Flying, I mean, to their beloved homeland, the year that way in 2010, of Frankfort, which was then residiual, favorite Alaturka. The flight was air Astana, from my favorite second terminal (just worked there at the time, being a student). Tackiness so, as expected, not feeling the trick, went stately gait, to border control. Time to landing, more like was enough, so according to tradition we decided to go to drink tea. For reasons of economy, I chose, of course, and as always, a well-known establishment called Burger king. So after enjoying a Cup (Yes, paper) mint tea, went quietly to the landing. It should be noted that I...

Many years of reading stories on this site and today decided to share one funny story for me, but comical for all my friends. After marrying their only son remained with the husband together in an apartment and now everyone has their own space. By the way, four years ago, made a good repair, installed new flooring, ceilings, plumbing. Were not only to change the wiring and tiled floors in the hallway and in the kitchen. a Few weeks ago I noticed that the outlet in my bedroom suspiciously crackles, and asked her husband to fix it. Two weeks done in the morning in the apartment gernerally cleaning, washed the Windows and the eyes fell upon the very crackling socket. She cried to her husband that well after all to see what's wrong with her. He reluctantly took...