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Pectrum

Articles on a range of subjects: history of Russia and the world, society, famous people, amazing events, unique places, curiosities past and present. A huge collection of jokes and jokes and fun and instructive stories from life.

Found 2383 items

Working as an elementary school teacher. Once was in the first grade lesson on the theme of occupations. Told that people of different professions bring to society. Ask students, they say, who are your parents and how they could help the school? The question was asked to the kids how their parents might think about the importance of different professions. the Guys took turns to answer: — My dad is a plumber and he can fix the taps in the school! My mom works as a cook, she could make burgers and feed all of the students! And then a voice came from the back desks: — my dad works as a Prosecutor. He can... put Director!

Czech Republic, Prague, food in public transport. Near me are two guys about 20 years old. One stared into your smartphone, the second something animatedly discussing on the phone in French. Suddenly the connection is dropped, and the Frenchman suddenly gives a strong swear word in Russian, but, of course, with a dreadful accent. the Guy who all this time staring at the phone, looks up and begins to explain to his friend in English: — Listen, if you hear me swear like that at home, it does not mean that these words can be pronounced wherever the hell you want. And then he gives a brilliant essentially the phrase: — Russians are everywhere, even where none exist! I will Never forget the frightened eyes of the Frenchman...

Odessa. The local grocery runs a small Yasha, waving the bag. Once inside, he stops, gradually goes to a young shop assistant and says, handing a three-liter jar: — Aunt Mary, I need condensed milk. Pour it in the jar to the top, please! the Girl carries a jar and a minute later handing the boy a full. — Oh, aunt Mary, and I've got no penny! But, you know, tomorrow has come and my dad will give money! — No, Jasha, you can't! Give me a jar! a Boy reaches out to the Bank, the girl pours the contents and brings it back, threatening Yasha finger. Sadly bowed his head, the boy exits the store, gets out of the package jar, in her looks and whispering to himself: — Oh, still my father was absolutely right! There is exactly enough for half a dozen...

I Go to subway, I start to empty my pockets of quarters and realize that the badge I was missing some 10 rubles. Went up to the counter and begin to explore the surrounding in search of a good man, ready to lend me the required amount. Then I realize that I can't muster the audacity to approach anyone, so leave the stress and begin to think about where to get the coveted thing. At this moment next to me show up the man bomzhevatogo appearance with a request to give him admission. — Man, I hate who 10 rubles planted! sadly I say. Bum rolls his eyes, theatrical sigh, they say, has pulled out, and gave me 10 rubles. I have a few minutes confused looked after him, even to thank you before...

For a year as I live and work in the wonderful country of New Zealand. Recently here there was a resonant case, which made a lasting impression on me. So, one girl came to a stop half an hour before the bus arrival. To pass the time, she decided to do homework in biology. About a quarter of an hour drove up to her police car came from the defenders of law and order and made a little questioning. And only some time later, fully convinced that the girl is not lying, the police said that she was detained. As it turned out, across from this stop is the American Embassy. One of the workers noticed a girl, then called the police and reported that someone sitting in wait right in front of the Embassy and makes some notes, clearly records who enters and...

I Decided the living room window plastic to put, is long overdue. Found wizard called, all agreed, promised to call back. This morning we have a look my mother, she wanted her grandson to see. And here the bell rings on the phone, my mom picks up the phone, then changes abruptly in the face and says: I'm sorry? and Even more the curve of the heard and after a short pause, starts to cry: — fuck you! Freak! of course, I begin to ask who it was that spoke. My questions mom gives: Oh, Love, don't take it to heart! Some psycho with a heavy accent called and said he was frozen cocoon. I almost not fell! — Mother, it would zamerschik Windows!

Sitting at my friend's house, drinking tea. The time is six in the evening, suddenly she's in front of me apologizes and flees the store. Returned with a bundle of dumplings. Opens the package and pours them on the table. Then pulls out the flour, sprinkle it varenichki, a bit of their hair and hands. Ties her apron and waiting for her husband. half an hour later the husband came. She tells him: — Cute, all-day sculpted for you dumplings, your favorite, cherry. So tired... Cook them myself, okay? a Happy husband cooked dumplings, ate and praised them that homemade is always tastier than the store.

Yesterday at the bus stop and saw the following picture. At the crossroads stopped a fresh "Lada Kalina", waiting for the green signal. Back at a decent speed rides tinted "Mercedes" and, almost without reducing speed, enters the ass "Kalina". From the car of the domestic automobile industry slowly left the boy with his head down. From "Mercedes" ran heavyset guy and waving her arms, began to yell at the guy. One cries, the other is silent, witnesses from among the drivers of minibuses not stand the injustice and decided to help the kid. Ran and started to yell at the man, saying, you were not right, calm down! At the same time, began to scold the kid, why are you silent, you're not to blame, etc. the Boy looked sadly at his defenders and said:...

A Lively area in Odessa. The sun is a man reading a newspaper. Suddenly it suited the old man, inspects it, and says: Listen, you guys, you are not a son of Mark L.? What? — distracted from reading the man. — No, sorry. Oh, how so? You're still the same person with mark Lvovich! Admit it, you sho his son! — I replied to you, sho I'm not his son! — begins to boil camper. — No, you are evil! You can't be a son of Mark L.! — Depart from me and let have a rest easy! I'm not his son! finally can not stand the man. the old Man, with a sigh, moving away, but a minute later returned to the man with the newspaper. — I beg your pardon. You know, I sho you are already sick, but it seems to me sho you gotta be kidding me. You, of course, the son...

Summer heat, coming home from the store. I pass by the construction site where the security guard runs out and starts to swear at small: — Hey, kids! The construction site is no place for games! Run play! what a sad children's choir the voice answered him: — We have nowhere to play anymore! What you come up with?! You have won some beautiful new Playground right inside the yard! — And we were driven out! — Who?! — Grandma! Said we are very noisy! Here is the conversation I wedged, and we guard decided to personally go to the Playground to look into the eyes of these zahvatchitsa. And really, the yard is empty and only the grandmother proudly sits on the benches. so Now I'm an enemy of the people, but the small pad on the back!

All I can remember was lost when I was asked: "You what sideburns do?". Frankly, I do not like to get a haircut, I hate when somebody do something about my hair. Well, the sideburns are a concern to me in the last turn. Here today hair cut, and the traditional question about the sideburns answered simply and succinctly: — Any! Came home and the wife let's me suspicious to look at and to lament to himself: — Hmm, strange that something is not right. I just did not understand what... Looked in the mirror, carefully examined himself and understood! One visacheck "scythe", and the second is "direct". And, damn, did not show the same! He said — any...

At the reception On the occasion of his own birthday is very old and very rich friend brags birthday: You represent, I met the woman of my dreams! She's 19, she's just adorable and seems to love me with all your heart! Oh, I'm so happy for you. Congratulations! — he is responsible. — Thank you. Only, you know, I have one problem... — suddenly pohrustet, says rich. — Oh! What is it? You know what a huge difference we have in age. Here's how you think, my chance to marry her will not decrease if I lie and say that I'm 65? — Look, buddy, will increase your chances if you tell her that you're 90 years old!

Crimea, going on the tour minibus — the eight tourists and the driver. Driving transport the owner, he's a tour guide. On the rear window of the announcement: "Sell the minibus, so-and-so brand, this year. The phone number". Rushing for a hundred, and here we are catching up to luxury "Mercedes". Overtook, slowed down, fell back, obviously, to read the ad. Then equals, and then comes the dialogue between the drivers: — Hello, darling! Car sell? — Sold! — How much? — 8000 green. — How much?! — Yes it's brand new! — You're on it people carry! Come on 7500 and hands? — they Have the tour paid for already! — Ah, 7800! the Driver thought passengers panicked look at each other. — Call in the evening! — Come on, come! move...

Colleague in the office and decided to ask the advice of the team. Lover presented her an expensive bracelet and she didn't know what to answer her husband when he asks where you got that. All began to advise different things: the answer that was given the award, and you're pleased with yourself, sister borrowed it to wear and stuff like that. And then one friend says: "Tell my husband that the decoration found. My wife is so last week my chain on the street..." We laughed to tears, and the colleague couldn't understand what's so funny, he said.

Known Odessa lawyer Moisey Solomonovich is retiring. On this occasion, his colleagues organized a luxurious dinner in the restaurant, they all say the Eulogy. At the end of the evening, a recent graduate of the law asked the master: — Moses Solomonovich, and tell us which day all the time your work was most successful? Oh, Sam, the day when lady luck smiled at me from ear to ear, is a day when I won as many as 11 vessels. And in a row! a Young lawyer, taken aback: Wait, Moses Solomonovich, but my dear father Yakov Aaranovitch was also a lawyer and won 13 ships in one day! And that's more than you. So my dad is more fortunate than you! Excuse me, young man, but I, unlike your father, you won those 11 ships from the Director of the Odessa...