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How to teach a child politeness?

Shkolazhizni.ru :.: Article 06.02.2019 at 21:00

Shkolazhizni.ru :.: Article

Have you had a situation where you were ashamed of the behaviour of their children? You felt confused because you personally did not teach them this, in your family it is not customary to do so. The feeling of frustration often pushes parents to punishment, aggression, long lecture. For such behavior lost most importantly — how to avoid such situations in the future? What you need to do to a child adopted your values, learned those rules of conduct which in later life will help to build relationships, not destroy them? It's time to get acquainted with the method of role-playing game! — Anna B. help yourself to some chocolate! — Mary tells me and holds out an open tile of dark chocolate, broken into plates. Masha — the schoolgirl of the third class. That's also my student, which I was doing as a tutor. — Thanks, Masha, I do not want. — That's it! Nobody wants this bitter! Already two days here lying around. And all I have to offer. Maybe someone will eat? In most cases the child simply doesn't know how to say, profilephoto: Depositphotos Frankly, I was taken aback. The word "lying" especially once cut. At the same time I know that Mary invites all chocolate sincerely and no bad thoughts are not allowed. But makes it so that after such language could not help thinking: "Well said!" A little later I decided to tell you about this Machine mom. A child needs to show you how you can treat another person, especially an adult, not devalued what is offered, and respecting the rules of etiquette. God, what happened! Mom blushed, upset, even a little offended: — this can Not be! Masha never... I never... In our family it is not accepted to... I heard a detailed description of the rules of gift-giving and treats. As it was in my mother's childhood, and how now she does. The books they give wrapped in cellophane, so no one would think that the book is not new. Things they never re-given. She, of course, Mary will talk, but generally all is strange! Over 25 years of experience in elementary school, I have not once had to deal with such behavior of children. And you know what's hard? This conversation with parents. It is very hard to explain to them that I'm not accusing, but simply want to draw attention to those aspects of the child's behavior that may from time to time to put their children in an awkward situation. 9-10 years the child begins to manipulate okrujayuschego: Depositphotos Features age-the Age in question — 9-10 years. This is the age when the child becomes very active in the social sphere. He becomes an adult. He feels adults. This is indicated by his actions, reasoning, passion. The child begins to take on more responsibility, makes decisions. At the same time, he begins to realize that something can be unsaid, something left unsaid. He begins to manipulate. Sometimes very cleverly, competently. After all, life experience is enough to begin to understand people's motives for their actions. I would like to draw the attention of those parents whose children are under the care of a babysitter. The nanny is usually a woman of retirement or pre-retirement age. In any case, this is an adult. But the child is often drawn to "you". And the relationships between them are built "equal". But in real life interaction with older people is different. Observe the rules of courtesy and rules of etiquette. Nanny these norms are violated. And the child have a wrong understanding about how to talk with seniors. Further in this manner the relationship is automatically transferred to all the adults that surround the child: grandparents, teachers, etc. And manifested this behavior in the absence of parents. Therefore, they often can't believe the child behaves. With the parents and the child behaves, incepto: Depositphotos Features of the age of the parents And what happens in this period in the life of parents? Parents are people 30-40 years old. The most active age for building a career, a meaningful relationship to the case, which now they do. This is the peak of cognitive activity. Therefore, these people do a lot of reading, studying, working on myself. This time cognitive maturity. The famous theorist of Laboui-VIF criterion of the cognitive maturity of adults thought commitment and responsibility. These qualities are manifested in all spheres of human life: in work and in family. Feature people in this age group is perfectionism. Themselves in an effort to be successful, the parents meet the same requirements and for their children. Burden, I must say, for many children unbearable! And then the child stands before the question: how to ease his comfortable existence, while not losing the parents? Here is the manifest and deception, and concealment of problems, and manipulation. Parents are sometimes hard to understand the reasons of such behavior of the child. Logic dictates that if there is prosperity, there is no reason to steal, to take secretly. If you have big goals and plans, there is no reason to shirk some important but not very pleasant Affairs. Parents see the child as an extension of yourself. So often you can hear from them: "I never do", "our family is not accepted..." Many childish mistakes are perceived aggressive or not accepted at all. This is especially true of behavioral errors! Shape behavioral responses, rebenito: Depositphotos solution to the problem you First need to accept the fact that a child must learn from their mistakes. And "to learn" is the key word! Any non-standard, incorrect from the point of view of an adult behavior should be seen as a lesson. It is difficult, but with proper placement of priorities is possible. The task of parents is to shape the behavioral responses of the child. And in this case works well roleplay. Not lecturing, not examples from the lives of great, and simple game in which you give the child the opportunity not only to form the standard of correct behavior, but also to consolidate it in practice, to obtain experience in the application. Back to our story. How can you help Mary? 1. Tell your child the difference between communicating with an adult. Why between the older and younger observed distance? We demonstrate this behavior? (Respect, recognition a great deal of life experience, etc) 2. What words can I use? How to formulate a sentence? "I want to offer You...", "let me buy You a drink...". Not to play up, to talk honestly about his desire: "I opened the chocolate, but it was bitter. I don't really like this chocolate. But if You like the taste, I with pleasure will treat You!" It is important to spell out these phrases with them. He replaces some words more suitable for him, even trying every sentence "taste": suitable — not suitable. Disassemble a few cases, play them with reencontro: Depositphotos 3. To lose this situation a few times. Let the first time will not work. It is necessary to try still! Change the conditions. Please note, at what point it is best to do, where to look, how to send chocolate, what to say at the end. Moreover, to analyze two scenarios: the person accepts or refuses the chocolate. So, in the game, you convey not only your expertise, but also form those rules, convey the values that formed you. And the child will now know that the complex issues of the relationship you will always be able to help. After all, in life it is waiting for many more such situations in which he will not know what to do, how to say it. Be reliable, loyal and friendly guide!...

This article describe tags: rules of civility, the child's behavior