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Well, that ended my two months of constant travel on the trains of our sorry-it-gods-Railways. Here I'll leave a brief list of useful tips for future passengers to bore anyone, even a totally peaceful and understanding companion.
1) Bring when boarding the train the rest of your relatives. Yes, and frankly a fat Uncle Fame and Zhorik at the head of all the hundred and forty people. Other passengers want to sit properly? Their problem! You have YOU! YOU don't see all that Caudle two whole weeks! When your uncle with a hearing aid, in polite and not so request, flies out of the car with acceleration — shipite and shout for all seven men passengers, not saying a word threw a 150-pound body on the platform.
2) be Sure to plead for have already become commonplace Kamenskih-fashioned attendants and armature, in the open, belly, vypilivaya good people with their honestly paid the lower shelves. No, not asking, but demanding it rudely. While carefully not notice the travel bandages on his leg and a heavy crutch-cane. After another sly lithakia (normal pregnant women and pensioners, who bought the ticket on the bottom and not put on a show "Vagon2" — a respect and a big cake to me), decided to save at the expense of the pious, will be sent, and the sympathetic conductor — defiantly captured on a video camera (recording the complaint of great shoots with them, and so not a great prize), try to read the notation: it is necessary to explain that the neighbor is only due to the presence of eggs between the legs, always have. Any argument flame mountain kadotani, pressure on pity and "need". After a few short and succinct unprintable expressions with the offer of sofiane the Kluki... Yes, you, Yes, it is there — turn around and shipite.
3) do rattle and rustling packages literally twenty minutes after departure. Do not forget about to openly vomit odors podrujka in heat "train" of food and himonya attack instant noodles to eat, all the neighbors love them. When the companion will get your dinner and you will see that there are products and more expensive and better than yours — start jabbering about the rich Pinocchio, trying to pull a packet or pinch off a piece. Ask? We are proud of, and he's a puppy, life is not even to ask. When you get a slap on stretching hand, throw a tantrum. Further, in all the way try to shoot the bar (oatmeal diet), then water (Essentuki, a little expensive by the way) and every time the offended when, good-naturedly saying "NO."
4) half upright man in the headphones half asleep or sticks to the plate and wants only to talk for life. It is an axiom. When you in the tenth time will try to get anything out of him except "yeah", but I will not get a polite reminder about ethics — offense. Crank the record, jabbering and whining quietly need at least one hour. Next, rinse, repeat. So on to the end of the trip or until when you do not shut up the whole near half of the car.
6) Arrive at 10:31? Rush, rush about all over the car already solid 6:42! Yes they can you! To sleep, to Wake up slowly and just as leisurely drinking tea! Any peaceful passenger into the field of view is a source of additional aggression. Start to subside only when the old-fashioned mother, clutching awakened from your rushing this early will go in a low voice extremely obscene in form, but is not rigid in fact the facts about you and your parents, and your village upbringing.
7) Remember that a neighbor was "that-t out of" powerbank and try to overcome it. Yes, you heard right, press: "Powerbank there? And if you find?" And it is in good location about this formulation. He needed to charge your gadget? Yes, what he understands, then YOU sit! You also need! After the failure, irritable failure, namelennogo failure and direct obscene message — begin to squeal and try to encourage the car to the bloody dispossession of the bourgeois-with-a-battery. Do not despise and attack, aiming to scratch out of the hands of a treasured artifact, or at least pull its cable out of the jar, because you have a dead cell phone! Spread the curse and the usual "boknakaran, nacarat". If this does not give results — try to get a battery with the closest body of a male nearby. Calm down only then when you will hate to look the whole car and hungover men stretch my hands hoping to give you the eye. Even despite the fact that you are a woman.
8) After a stop — start to shove with their elbows rest. What can I say, otherwise the whole greeting the flock will flee ahead of time, if you do not have time.
a Sincere thank you adequate mothers and their beloved children, pregnant smart, considerate, even-who-over... nice pensioners and the retired, quiet students and quite a reasonable men that overshadowed an uncivilized, illiterate asexual cattle on all trips. Dolgikh you years of life. Well, do you train cattle, you zadolbali, and it too mildly.
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